So, it has been over 2 months since I have got engaged. A lot has happened. I was able to spend the holidays with family as a newly engaged lady- different. Everyone wanted to know everything; “what dress are you getting”,” what’s the date”, “where are you getting married”, “where will I be sitting?”. Sound familiar, my other engaged ladies?
It’s overwhelming, but in a good way. I feel like when you get engaged, its ok to finally talk about a wedding that you planned in your head the first time your significant other said “I love you”. It’s ok, you’re not crazy anymore because he put a ring on it. Don’t worry. So, lets break it down. What IS the first step in wedding planning after getting engaged? I’m not going to act like I am a pro at this, but this is what really helped me maintain my inner diva; wanting to make it all about me and also keep my blood pressure low.
1. What’s your budget?
I know, it is literally the most unsexy thing you want to talk about after day dreaming about spending the rest of your life with your loved one, but it needs to happen. Let me also say that I am not the most fiscally responsible person by any means. I’m the girl that got drunk one night and bought two Beyoncé tickets in a city that was a 7-hour car ride away, just because I felt I didn’t get enough of her the last time I saw her (3 months prior) …So when I say you need to sit down and talk about money, you know I mean business.
Weddings are a lot of money. Don’t let anyone else tell you any different. They can range from $5,000 to over $30,000. I don’t know about you but spending even $2,000 on a party is expensive to me. You need to mentally be ready to spend money. Sure, you can do it on a low budget, but that still means your spending moola. Once you have an idea of how much BOTH of you are willing to spend, comes the fun stuff….
2. The Adult Burn Book…not really though…
I’m that evil person who loves seating charts and making people sit next to each other, so I loved coming up with a list of all of my family and friends and crossing people off ��. Don’t worry if your reading this, your probably invited to my wedding. I’m actually also scared of hurting people’s feelings…great for my budget…just come up with a list, later on when you are about to order your Save the Dates (7-6 months prior), you can really comb through this list and cross people off.
The only advice I can give you on this area is don’t be afraid not to invite people. The rule I still stick to is, if I haven’t spoken to you face to face or over the phone in two years, I’m not spending over $100 on you at my wedding. Sorry. Also, think of Plus Ones as puppies. Everyone wants one, but not everyone gets one. Again, if you don’t have a BF/GF or I have never met them- they ain’t coming.
3. How Cold or How Hot?
Now that you know how much you would like to spend on your wedding, and have an idea of your guest list, now you get to think of the time of year! If you’re like me, your decision will be determined on how sweaty you may get on your wedding day. Therefore, I picked a Winter wedding so I don’t sweat. WHICH also means OFF SEASON PRICES!!!! More money back into the budget!
Also remember, different seasons means different color palettes! Don’t worry girl, we are quickly getting to the fun stuff- I got chu.
4. Venue, Venue, Venue
Now you know your budget, how many people you need to host and have an idea of the time of year (dates). Now you can start scrolling through the Knot and trying to figure out where you want to get married! For me, I started out with this idea that I wanted a winter wonderland wedding in upstate VT where all my guests had to stay over and we all danced all night together. Yes, I wanted to trap my guests. Well, I was quickly slapped with reality. First off, my fiancé is from VT not me. We have no other tie to VT other than his family. We both aren’t big fans of winter wonderlands, and it would be just far
enough where no one would come. VT off the table.
Think about you and your fiancé, what’s important to you two? What speaks to your relationship? Are you ski people? Beach people? Find a venue that captures who you are. Its even as simple as finding a venue with a large dance floor because you just want to dance all night. You do you! I promise, once you find your venue it will become so much easier!
After this, you will begin to look into all your other vendors (photographer, DJ, Florist, Bakery etc.). What does your venue offer? How many vendors do you need to hire? Again, back to the budget. Everything will begin to fall into place, and if you are still feeling overwhelmed after reviewing the long, long list of “To-Do’s” in your new, cute Kate Spade Wedding Planner binder, take a post-it note and write down the tasks that need to be completed each month leading up to your wedding. It helps, makes you focus on just that month and what needs to be accomplished.
Like I said, I am not the all-knowing wedding guru. Its going to get stressful and you will fight with your fiancé, but it’ll all be worth it. Right? If you have any questions, feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Good luck share some of your favorite and worst wedding planning memories!